"The Fountain"

In The Fountain Tom tries to keep Izzy alive because he does not want to suffer the grief of losing his beloved wife. What I am trying to get across is that he is doing it for himself and not her. He would rather Izzy suffer than just die and move on to the "better things" that she wants.

To be as honest as I can, I have not prayed in a long time, yeah it is awful I know but get over it. Last night I prayed for my Grandma for a good 10-20 minutes, I'm not too sure. Was I doing the same thing as that tom guy? I can't decide. I prayed for her to be o.k. But when I think about it she is 90 years old, and happy. What if she would rather just move on? I thought that I was doing the right thing but now pondering about it I can't decide. I have spent endless hours today thinking about this because my mom gave me the "Grandma is really old but she had a happy life" speech today. (I am waaay to old for that anyways).

While I was watching the fountain I thought to myself "dang that guy is a jerk just let her go." What does that say about me? That would, basically, make me a hipocrit. And as a side thought: why was it such perfect timing that this is happening just as we finished watching that movie in English?

I don't know what is making me feel worse, the fact that my Grandma is dying or the fact that I was a big a jerk as Tom from the movie. I am worrying myself sick, actually sick to my stomach.And to make it worse, I can't go see my grandma because she has a bad infection and can catch just about anything and it could be what does it.