What if?

What if?

I've been wondering that a lot lately.
What if I was born into a different family?
What if I didn't join band in 6th grade?
What if I walk out of my house and get hit by a car?
What if I do bad on my chemistry final?
What if Oboma(SP?) is a bad president?
What if my dog runs away?
What if I have to wake up early for wind symphony?
What if I graduate high school a year early?
What if I fail my drivers test?

All of these "what if's" are making me crazy. I just want to know. I'm tired of wondering, waiting , and just guessing about things. I want to know everything. I want to know why the sky is blue and why snow is called snow. Who was important enough to decide that? Why can I not just say that snow is rain and rain is snow? I want to know how my cell phone works. I want to kow why a teacher who teaches a class all about Spanish does NOT even know how to speak it. I want to know why people decide to go out with someone for four days. I want to know how i made the decision to get my hair cut how I did. Just WHY? It is like tearing away at my insides. How did I make the amazing choice to be friends with who I am? Why do we like the people that we like? Why do people do stupid things? Why am I sitting here waiting for audition results when I know they won't be up until at least Monday? How come if you hang out with someone enough you start to talk like them? Don't tell me that's not true. I'm starting to say "what the crap" that is bad.

There cannot be a good explaination for more than half of this. I'm determined to find out why. For everything. I don't care what it takes, or how long. I just really need to know.